My People, e get one gist wey i wan give una. Weder na true abi na fabu make you decide.
Long time ago when i still small, na so one chap come meet me oh say im wan sell gun. Me kuma wey dey look for money come say dat na small runnings i go organise the sale for am. Anyway, go no go na im i take style withdraw because i don see say person fit enter trouble.
Somehow somehow sha dem come link another chap to help sell am, make we call am Natty. No be him Natty don begin make the rounds dey tell anybody wey care to listen say im get gun for sale. Na so e talk sotey e come reach the ear of one guy (i don forget im name, make we call am Abego). The following dialog follow
Abego: Natty na true say you get the tin to sell?
Natty: yes.
Abego; Ok i get person wey wan buy. I go bring am tomorrow come see you.
Natty: Ok
Tomorrow don reach now and as dem plan am na im Abego appear Natty with two people wey come buy gun.
Abego:(to the men) Na dis be the man wey get the gun wey im wan sell.
Man1: Oga na true say you get gun for sale?
Natty: Yes now. (e show dem the gun)
Man2: You sure say na real gun abi na imitation.
Natty: Look dis man oh! You tink say i be yeye business man. I say the gun na automatic, e dey shoot kpa kpa kpakpa kpa.
Man1: If na so, then i am placing you under arrest for the illegal possesion of a gun. Oya handcuff am, na area "F" get am.
Natty: Oga abeg! No be me get am...
The tin wey happen to Natty be say im oju kokoro na im put am for trouble. Also im no even take time take find out who im dey do business wit.
After a few days dem release Natty but not before dem blow blow all im eye and collect "settlement" from am.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Sunday, July 23, 2006
419ers
My people make una no vex oh! Na water wan pass gari but we thank the Lord. Una fit don begin wonder wetin don happen to una guy. Na the effrey day grind of life na im wan overtake me. Abeg make i tell una one tin wey happen to me last week.
No be him i don advertise for loot say i wan sell somtin. Quick, quick, i don begin receive emails say dem dey interested in wetin i wan sell. Dem ask for the condition of the item and how much i go gree sell am last. Me come tink say tis na correct oh, because the names wey i dey see na Richard Walters, Jim Cold mo ra won. Na im mesef done kia kia answer dem. Next email wey i go receive from dem now, dem come begin give me yarn. Dem dey weave me story say "somebody" dey owe dem money, so dem go send me the cheque for £4000. Make i pay am into my account and den i go deduct my own money come send dem the remaining wad. A won alakoba! One time na im i send dem reply say, mesef na naija oh make una no try dat 419 jazz. The guy reply dey hail me, say who i be make we do "business" togeder. My people na wa oh! I no blame dem na say dem no see the grey hair for my head, dem fon know say mesef na alagbari.
So therefore make una careful oh! Dis 419ers don enter anoder level. I hear say for Naija na yahoo boys dem dey call dem. Anybody wey begin weave you yarn wey sound too good, man make you run (even if later you find out say na genuine). If possible make una report am. To who? Make una ask me again, i go answer.
I hope say e no go take me anoder how many weeks to update dis blog. Abi una go helep me write. God bless.
No be him i don advertise for loot say i wan sell somtin. Quick, quick, i don begin receive emails say dem dey interested in wetin i wan sell. Dem ask for the condition of the item and how much i go gree sell am last. Me come tink say tis na correct oh, because the names wey i dey see na Richard Walters, Jim Cold mo ra won. Na im mesef done kia kia answer dem. Next email wey i go receive from dem now, dem come begin give me yarn. Dem dey weave me story say "somebody" dey owe dem money, so dem go send me the cheque for £4000. Make i pay am into my account and den i go deduct my own money come send dem the remaining wad. A won alakoba! One time na im i send dem reply say, mesef na naija oh make una no try dat 419 jazz. The guy reply dey hail me, say who i be make we do "business" togeder. My people na wa oh! I no blame dem na say dem no see the grey hair for my head, dem fon know say mesef na alagbari.
So therefore make una careful oh! Dis 419ers don enter anoder level. I hear say for Naija na yahoo boys dem dey call dem. Anybody wey begin weave you yarn wey sound too good, man make you run (even if later you find out say na genuine). If possible make una report am. To who? Make una ask me again, i go answer.
I hope say e no go take me anoder how many weeks to update dis blog. Abi una go helep me write. God bless.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Sportsmania
My people make una no vex oh, na garri wan pass water. I hear say some of una dey tear cloth say dem don knock England out of world cup. Una no tear cloth wen Nigeria no qualify. Which wan una dey sef? Abeg make una leave the football joh. The tension nearly wan give man pikin heart attack. Meanwhile the players and officials go still get settlement. Even though say dem lose? Yeah man! You tink say na play dem go play for Germany? We are talking serious bucks. If to say dem win the world cup dem bonus for be £300,000. Una wey be Naija abeg convert am for me. Make una no dare cry for dem oh because insurance cover, dem sef no worry.
On another matter. Dem say one Naija bobo dem don draft am into the NBA even though dem no gree give am yankee visa. Dat na babanla luck! Na im be say im suffer for Africa don come to an end. Una go say i no dey patriotic, see una mouth. You tink say naija local basketball league dey pay am correct? Man must survive! Even if na im be the least paid player for NBA im situation go still better pass if im dey play for NBBF league. Abeg make the guy enjoy himsef. More grease...
Na so actor David Williams (a la Little Britain fame) swim across the English channel to France. Somebody ask me say weder me i fit do am. I say i no blame am, na chop belleful na im dey make people do dat kind stunt. 21 mile swim! Say who die! Me i be land "animal". I remember when somebody ask me weder i fit swim. I tell am say me gan i be fish ( make e no be like say anythin spoil). Na im the babe come invite me for a swim oh! Quick, quick na im i confess, i tell am say i dey joke. E go good make person go learn how to swim oh. Olorun o ni je ki ari alakoba!
To, sei gobe!
On another matter. Dem say one Naija bobo dem don draft am into the NBA even though dem no gree give am yankee visa. Dat na babanla luck! Na im be say im suffer for Africa don come to an end. Una go say i no dey patriotic, see una mouth. You tink say naija local basketball league dey pay am correct? Man must survive! Even if na im be the least paid player for NBA im situation go still better pass if im dey play for NBBF league. Abeg make the guy enjoy himsef. More grease...
Na so actor David Williams (a la Little Britain fame) swim across the English channel to France. Somebody ask me say weder me i fit do am. I say i no blame am, na chop belleful na im dey make people do dat kind stunt. 21 mile swim! Say who die! Me i be land "animal". I remember when somebody ask me weder i fit swim. I tell am say me gan i be fish ( make e no be like say anythin spoil). Na im the babe come invite me for a swim oh! Quick, quick na im i confess, i tell am say i dey joke. E go good make person go learn how to swim oh. Olorun o ni je ki ari alakoba!
To, sei gobe!
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Over and out!
My people na real over and out for England oh! Abi na only me how those boys take the penalties. E be like say dem give dem lagartil. See as dem dey draw body before dem take the penalty. You for nearly wan tink say dem don bribe dem. After dem don play well abi na tire dem tire? E easy? Abeg make una help me commesirate with England.
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