Police & CCTV

My people, na me oh! I don come again. How una dey? I troway salute! Many many tins dey my mind na im make una nefer hear from me. I don tink so tey e be like say my head wan shrink. Wetin dey make me tink? Askor!

Anyway, inside tis tink tink na im i come begin tink about one tin wey dem write for naija paper. Wen i read am, i come digest am, i no con know weder to laugh or cry for my country. Wetin i read? No be IG for Naija police come talk sey dem wan put CCTV for Abuja and Lagos make dem take dey monitor crime. Abeg where i wan start dis discussion. Na light own we go talk abi na expertise abi na hunger wey wan kill policemen.

How dem plan power cctv wen dem dey for perpetual darkness. Ok not perpertual darkness but e remain small. If power supply dey as erratic as e dey now, e go hard dem to fit power the cctv oh. Abi una no see am so? Dem fit just dey follow one tief for camera, NEPA go come take light. Una no see sey oku a gula. Ok make we talk sey dem come use cctv take identify one barawo, how dem wan take find am. Dem get records? Abi una no hear say naija get 120 million people. Lagos on im own na 12 million people and increasing by the day.

Make we even come assume say dem see the face, identify the tief come charge am to court, e yen wa ni kini. No be for una eye na im Tafa tell reporters say "i will bounce back". Abeg make una leave me hand. CCTV my foot. Dem done find anoder way wey dem go take chop money. Dem don see say EFCC dem no dey joke so na to apply anoder method of tief tief. Dis guys are going sophisticated. You know hear say Tafa be wan buy bank, we are talking serious money here men. If na me, immediately the deal enter like dis i don retire be dat. Chikena, Iyoku banza. Befor dem go say e don tief money, i don go back my village start one farm.

Abeg make una leave Naija police jo. Dem never fit deal wit introduction of computers na cctv dem one deal with. Abi you know any police station wey get computer? How dem dey take keep or track records of criminals? You stay there.

Anyway, make mesef leave una hand small. I go write again wen my head return to im normal size. se go be.

Pidgin Poem

Party people in da house! How far? Una ears don dey itch? Well nutin spoil, I get some small okele for una. Wetin I wan give una today na sometin wey cross my mind wey I don apply to music befor. So today, I wan write una poem. But because I never perfect my own poem, I go give una translation of a popular poem. Dis na the poem wey Chinua Achebe get im title for im popular book "Things Fall Apart", but na only the first stanza i go translate. Abeg make una helep me read am.

The Second Coming
By William Butler Yeats (1921)

1st Stanza (English)

Turning and turning in a widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart, the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity

Translation into original pidgin English

As e dey turn, as e dey turn na im the tin dey scatter
The fowl e no fit hear the person wey get am;
Effrey tin come dabaru, the centre no fit holo again;
Na only confusion na im come dey dis wee world,
Na so the river wey be like blood dey vex,even e don drown the ceremony of the people wey be like pikin no sabi anytin;
The people wey better pass nko dem don tire while the ones wey no better at all na dia power come plenty pass.

End of translation

I try abi i no try? If una get a better translation oya foreward am to me. Ogadi later!